Category: Uncategorized

Summer of Love – Where Were You?

As this Summer comes to a close (this Friday is the first day of Fall). I started thinking about another Summer that happened 50 years ago. It was called the “Summer of Love”. Some of you may have lived through it at the time, and others, like me only learned about it from popular culture. It happened in 1967 and was kind of overshadowed by Woodstock a couple of years later. About 100,000 young people known as hippies or flower children poured into the Haight-Ashbury area of San Francisco. They generally opposed the Vietnam War and were into art, music and poetry. They rejected materialism and capitalism and other trappings of modern society. They were into communal living and folk and rock music. Many music festivals were held in the area, such as the Fantasy Fair and Magic Mountain Music Festival and the Monterey Pop Festival with artists like The Who, The Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. The Mamas and Papas song lyrics…”if you’re going to San Francisco be sure to where some flowers in your hair” were written for the Summer of Love. I think the young people were rebelling (mostly in a peaceful way) and trying to find themselves at the same time. I was only five years old at the time, but I always wished I had been a part of that generation.

At the end of the Summer some locals actually held what they called a hippie funeral because they wanted to signal this was the end of it, that people should stay where they live and not come back because it’s over. Still, much in society resonated from the events of the Summer of Love. They fueled the antiwar and environmental movements, but more than anything I think they taught us it’s okay to pursue personal freedom and be more open minded.

Courting vs. Dating – What’s the Difference?

Courting is a term we don’t hear too much anymore. The term we commonly use now is dating. When I was growing up we called it dating. I only know the term courting from old TV shows or books and I thought it was just an “old fashioned” way of saying “dating”. Still, my perception was that there were slight differences between dating and courting. So, since I was curious, I googled it. After reading the definitions of both terms the primary difference between the two seems to be intent.

Courting is done with the intent of marriage or commitment to a monogamous romantic relationship. It includes ongoing activities to gain the trust of the person being courted, as well as trying to gain the trust of the person’s family, friends and community. The person courting is doing two things simultaneously. They are trying to market themselves to the person being courted and family and friends. And in the process they are also learning more about the person being courted, i.e. her personality, likes and dislikes, etc. I think courting is a positive thing for a relationship, mainly because it’s done over a longer period of time. So, you get to know the person well before commitment/marriage. It also shows a sense of true interest and devotion to the individual, since they’re willing to put forth all that effort!

I guess courting is probably similar to “serious dating” vs. “casual dating”.

Benefits of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and surrounding environment. It involves acceptance of our thoughts and feelings without judging them as they occur in the present moment. Mindfulness has its origins in Buddhist meditation, but a popular secular version of mindfulness is Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).

There are many benefits of practicing Mindfulness. It’s good for our bodies, because it boosts our immune system. It’s good for our minds, because it increases positive emotions and reduces negative emotions and stress. It helps our brains with learning, memory, emotion regulation and empathy and it helps us focus by enabling us to tune out distractions and improve memory and attention skills.

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is learning to control our reaction to stress. This occurs because between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, and in our response lies our growth and our freedom. It means there is a moment of choice before we react to stress and pain. Most of us are unaware of this space between stimulus and response because we use habitual patterns of reacting to stimulus. The MBSR technique helps people to become aware of negative habitual reactions and choose positive ways to react.

I believe it would be beneficial to practice some degree of mindfulness, because it can help you improve focus, get along better with others, and give you confidence, thereby reducing stress. Most people suffer some stress in their lives. These mindfulness techniques may make you feel more in control and therefore more confident. Practice acceptance by accepting the way you currently feel.  Take a three minute breathing space. Stop what you’re doing and concentrate on your breaths and sensations at the moment. Tune into distractions around you. By paying attention to the sounds around you instead of ignoring them you can become aware of the effect they’re having on you and control your reactions. Take breaks. Taking regular breaks during the day can boost productivity and creativity. Find a time to unplug. Staying connected to the internet and email all day (in and outside of work) could make us distracted, impatient and forgetful. Taking even short breaks from technology can lower stress and boost productivity.

Practicing mindfulness helps you learn a lot about yourself. By practicing it just a few days I’ve learned what stimuli make me happy and which make me sad and why. This has allowed me to learn to control my reactions. It has also helped me to tune into other people and their needs and greatly improved my ability to focus. The most important benefit for me has been not just trying to emulate the positive qualities I see in others, but being able to accept myself for who I am and really liking myself.

 

A Blessed Day or Serendipity

I’ve heard people say, “have a blessed day” many times without really knowing what it meant. I guess to me it was just another way of saying, “have a nice day.”

Then there’s another word that we don’t hear too often…”serendipity.” The dictionary definition of serendipity is the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

I believe I experienced both of these the other day. As I was getting off the train on Wednesday I ran into a friend of mine from grade school. We hadn’t seen each other in over 40 years, but amazingly she recognized me and I recognized her (after she said her name). She then talked about her memories of being at my house as a little girl and now nice my mother was. I was very surprised she remembered so many details about my mother and I started to cry, because at that moment I felt my mother’s presence more than I have in a long time.; since my mother died over 30 years ago.

Also on Wednesday I was facing what I thought was a hopeless situation about the care of my elderly aunt, when by chance I received a phone call from someone that advised me of the right thing to do and how to do it to solve the problem.

These two serendipitous events made for a very blessed day and I thank the two people I encountered that made it possible…..Thank you so much for allowing me to experience the serendipity of a blessed day!

Twitter

About a month ago I decided that I needed to get with the new technology and not be afraid of it. Sure, I used email and read newspapers online and played a few games before, but not much else. That’s when I started this blog and joined Twitter. Twitter was something totally new to me and kind of intimidating. I never wanted to go on Twitter in the past because I thought you would constantly be receiving tweets and have to answer them immediately. I found out it’s not like that at all. You can initiate and respond to tweets anytime you want to; or not respond at all. It’s entirely at your discretion. You can choose the groups and individuals you want to follow and indicate whether you want to receive notifications or not.

Twitter helps me stay on top of all the breaking news, because all the major news channels and newspapers tweet current news as it happens (as does the president and mayor). It also puts me in contact with people that have many diverse viewpoints, that I probably wouldn’t meet in real life; but on Twitter we can connect and share ideas freely. I have met wonderful people on Twitter and they are very nice. However, my favorite thing on Twitter is not the people, but the pets (namely dogs). I love seeing photos of dogs on the WeRateDogs @dog_rates hashtag. Below is a photo of Rosie as a puppy that I posted on Twitter.

So, if you’re not on Twitter I would say to give it a try…it’s a lot of fun!

The True Meaning of Labor Day

I’m looking forward to enjoying Labor Day with my family. The weather should be beautiful and it’ll be nice to have a long weekend. But there’s more to Labor Day than family, food and last true days of Summer. I knew Labor Day had something to do with labor, but I didn’t really know the actual history behind the Labor Day holiday, and I didn’t know it figured prominently in Chicago history.

I just read the other day that Labor Day was designated a Federal holiday in 1894 by President Cleveland as a result of the Pullman Railcar Workers Strike. The strike, like so many others at the time, was to fight for reasonable pay and an 8 hour workday. This particular strike affected not only Pullman porters and other workers in the Town of Pullman in Chicago, but approximately 250,000 Pullman workers in cities across the nation. So, the Labor Day Holiday is also a day to remember (and honor) American workers and their rights.

Thank you

Your Reputation At Work

Why it’s Important to Have a Positive Reputation at Work

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Your reputation is the most important career capital you have. Often, your reputation precedes you and it’s the first thing managers and employees know about you. So, it’s important that you have a good reputation and you live up to it in reality.

Having a positive reputation in the workplace helps ensure current and future success on the job. You may be offered more interesting and challenging work and promotions because you are perceived as being able to get the job done.

Elements of a Positive Work Reputation

These are some elements of a positive work reputation:

  • Reliability – completing tasks timely, being punctual and following business procedures and protocol will enable managers and coworkers to rely on you, resulting in new projects with greater responsibility.
  • Efficiency – good time management and a strong work ethic shows your commitment to the job and builds a positive reputation.
  • Positive Attitude – it is important to be open to trying new initiatives. This also makes you more approachable to others.
  • Initiative – if you see a way to improve something, let your manager know. It shows your commitment to doing a good job for the good of the organization.
  • Relationship Building – having good relationships with managers, colleagues and stake holders will help to accomplish the goals of the organization, make work more enjoyable and increase your chances for promotion.

Steps to Building a Positive Work Reputation

The following are effective reputation-builders at work:

  1. Don’t Go in Unprepared: before going into a meeting, make sure to read any materials that were distributed and briefly research areas that are unclear. You should think of your preparation time as something that translates to respect for your audience.
  2. Be Consistent: make sure you maintain and project a positive demeanor in each interaction you have with managers, coworkers or clients. This increases your credibility on the job.
  3. Keep Your Promises: don’t make commitments and promises you can’t keep. If you over-commit and don’t deliver you will be seen as misleading and untrustworthy.
  4. Buy into Yourself: the foundation of a great reputation is believing you have something of value and importance to share and contribute and projecting that belief. When trying to advance, being unknown can be as hard to overcome as having a bad reputation.
  5. Don’t Complain: it is not good to be known as someone who can’t be pleased. Do not be stuck on issues. Become known as a constructive thinker who tries to solve problems instead of just complaining about them.

How to Repair a Negative Work Reputation

Repairing a negative work reputation can be difficult. That’s why it’s so important to develop and keep a positive work reputation. Even though it may be difficult, there are steps you can take to repair or improve a negative work reputation.

  1. Prove Your Intent to be Taken Seriously:  key in on the areas that need improvement and over-deliver on those items. For example, if you had a bad reputation for not being timely in meeting deadlines, finish your next project/assignment early.
  2. Consistently Meet Your Deadlines: make sure you turn everything in on or before the due date without exception. It is very important to communicate clearly about the deadlines to ensure everyone has the same understanding and knows what to expect and when.
  3. Under-Promise and Over-Deliver: deliver the product early, under budget and better than expected. This way you set the expectations.
  4. Keep Your Criticism to Yourself: if you complain at work you’ll sound like a whiner. Don’t take on a new responsibility unless you can deliver.
  5. Invite Your Coworkers to Activities Outside Work: getting together after work hours can help form a better work bond, because you’ll get to know each other better and may find you have things in common.
  6. Engage in Active Listening: it is important to repeat back to the person what they said and how you understand it. This will help the person feel listened to or will help them try to explain again. This is good communication.
  7. Be Firm but Kind: if you’re in a position of responsibility, you want your coworkers or employees to respect you. Therefore, you should be firm but flexible.

My Own Experience

It has been my experience that the importance of having a positive reputation at work cannot be over-stated. Virtually everything depends on it. Your reputation can make or break you on the job.

I also think it’s important to note that a reputation is mainly perception. So, you can be doing a great job, but if the manager doesn’t like you for whatever reason you’ll be perceived as being a bad worker, i.e., have a bad reputation. That’s why it’s important to maintain positive relationships with management and coworkers, so your reputation can be more universal. Then, if the manager doesn’t like you and says something negative about you, others won’t believe it because their own personal experiences with you prove otherwise.

Chicago Flag: 100 Years Old

This year the Chicago flag is 100 years old. When I was growing up in Chicago I didn’t even know there was a Chicago flag. In fact, I didn’t find out until recently.

The flag was designed by Wallace Rice and was designated as the official city flag on April 4, 1917.

The flag has three white stripes that symbolize the North, West and South side neighborhoods of the city. The two blue stripes symbolize the branches of the Chicago River. The four red stars represent: the Great Chicago Fire of 1871; the World’s Columbian Exposition of 1893; the 1933 Century of Progress Exposition World’s Fair; and Fort Dearborn. These are four truly significant parts of Chicago history.

I think having a city flag is important because it fosters a sense of identity. I believe the beauty of the Chicago city flag lies in its simplicity; much like the beauty of the city of Chicago itself. It is a large, world class city that still maintains the simplicity and grace of a smaller city.

Must Read – Natalie Y. Moore’s Sun-times Article

This article is a must read. It’s so nice to know that there are journalists who are not only professional, but also are sensitive and truly care about people. Natalie Y. Moore is such a journalist! I agree with Natalie that labels lead to and reinforce negative stereotyping. Read more….

http://chicago.suntimes.com/columnists/moore-banish-alt-right-be-wary-of-labeling-people/

  • Also, please note – I was not commenting on the politics of this article, but rather only about her approach to journalism of not labeling, but only describing what she sees.